This is the song everyone/
would like to learn: the song/
that is irresistable://
the song that forces men/
to leap overboard in squadrons/
even though they see the beached skulls//
the song nobody knows/
because anyone who has heard it/
is dead, and the others can't remember.//
Shall I tell you the secret/
and if I do, will you get me/
out of this bird suit?//
I don't enjoy it here/
squatting on this island/
looking picturesque and mythical//
with these two feathery maniacs,/
I don't enjoy singing/
this trio, fatal and valuable.//
I will tell the secret to you,/
to you, only to you./
Come closer. This song//
is a cry for help: Help me!/
Only you, only you can,/
you are unique//
at last. Alas/
it is a boring song/
but it works every time.
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