brokebrokebroke

I'm sick of having no money.

Okay, that's not true. In the fall, I had no money. Now I just don't have enough.

Want vs. need. I keep reminding myself that I just need to stick to the needs only for the next while.

But what's a want and what's a need? Is a gently used computer desk a want or a need? I look at my friend who spent a year essentially living in a hallway. Her stuff was always tucked away, and her bed was her workspace. I, on the other hand, have a spacious room with crap that has been in shifting piles on the floor for 4 months, because I have nowhere to put it. I think the desk is a need.

And then there's the bed. If I've slept just fine on the foamee and daybed for 2 1/2 years, a real one is just a want, right? Or, if I'm waking up with those little red marks on my hips from pressing against a hard surface, does that make it a need? I think it's a need.

Wine for a friend's party-- want or need? Well, alcohol is usually a want category, but weekly socialization I'm pretty sure is a need, and showing up to a party empty-handed is pretty lame, so where does that go?

Sushi twice this week is not a need; it's a want. But if it's 6 o'clock at night and I've hardly had sleep the night before and all the dishes are dirty and all that's in my cupboard is Sapporo Ichiban . . . want or need?

Long distance card: I can talk to my boyfriend freen on msn and skype, so being able to carry around the phone is just a bonus. Except that I neeed to clean my room, and I can't do that attached to my computer, and after my usual Saturday phonecalls it's usually dark, so therefore a phonecard is actually an aid to multi-tasking and saving my mental health . . . so . . . want or need?

Winter tires: it hardly snows here, and I'm trying to move to the south next year, so tires are totally not necessary. But my birthday's coming up and I want to celebrate with all my friends in my snowy hometown, and my roommate is on a similar crappy budget to mine, so can't really afford a $300 flight, and hey, I'll need them again sometime, right? and it's been a little frosty here the last week and they are predicting a little snow and if I ever have any more money I might make it up skiing sometime . . . want or need?

I look around at how much I have compared to most people in the world and even many in the city. I try to buy local, pay a little more for hormone free milk and free range eggs, and I know I've got it good. But . . . I really want that desk.