uh-oh-uh-ooh . . . .

ahahahahahaha! . . . yessss:

http://www.nkotb.com/

(Don't forget to "channel up" on the remote).

brokebrokebroke

I'm sick of having no money.

Okay, that's not true. In the fall, I had no money. Now I just don't have enough.

Want vs. need. I keep reminding myself that I just need to stick to the needs only for the next while.

But what's a want and what's a need? Is a gently used computer desk a want or a need? I look at my friend who spent a year essentially living in a hallway. Her stuff was always tucked away, and her bed was her workspace. I, on the other hand, have a spacious room with crap that has been in shifting piles on the floor for 4 months, because I have nowhere to put it. I think the desk is a need.

And then there's the bed. If I've slept just fine on the foamee and daybed for 2 1/2 years, a real one is just a want, right? Or, if I'm waking up with those little red marks on my hips from pressing against a hard surface, does that make it a need? I think it's a need.

Wine for a friend's party-- want or need? Well, alcohol is usually a want category, but weekly socialization I'm pretty sure is a need, and showing up to a party empty-handed is pretty lame, so where does that go?

Sushi twice this week is not a need; it's a want. But if it's 6 o'clock at night and I've hardly had sleep the night before and all the dishes are dirty and all that's in my cupboard is Sapporo Ichiban . . . want or need?

Long distance card: I can talk to my boyfriend freen on msn and skype, so being able to carry around the phone is just a bonus. Except that I neeed to clean my room, and I can't do that attached to my computer, and after my usual Saturday phonecalls it's usually dark, so therefore a phonecard is actually an aid to multi-tasking and saving my mental health . . . so . . . want or need?

Winter tires: it hardly snows here, and I'm trying to move to the south next year, so tires are totally not necessary. But my birthday's coming up and I want to celebrate with all my friends in my snowy hometown, and my roommate is on a similar crappy budget to mine, so can't really afford a $300 flight, and hey, I'll need them again sometime, right? and it's been a little frosty here the last week and they are predicting a little snow and if I ever have any more money I might make it up skiing sometime . . . want or need?

I look around at how much I have compared to most people in the world and even many in the city. I try to buy local, pay a little more for hormone free milk and free range eggs, and I know I've got it good. But . . . I really want that desk.

where's the trap-door when you need it?

Yayyy! My sleep-deprived week has finally come to an end! And today was a totally good day. The kids were great (especially after I told them all how wonderful they were compared to the shit-heads in the classes I was subbing yesterday. Or just one class. But big enough shits to feel like I was stuck with them for hours on end. ahhhh. . . anyway, letting it go . . . ). All I had to do at the end of today was go for a quick meeting with another teacher, get my lesson plans more or less outlined for Tuesday, and pack up. The teacher-- or secretary, I wasn't sure which, as correspondence had been through the school email-- was going to help me figure out some stuff related to report cards. I just had to figure out who she was.

You see, after cramming the names of all 120 of my students into my head in the first week, my brain has had hardly any room left for names. This means that after 2 months in the staffroom, I have wonderful chummy repeat conversations now with half a dozen of my colleagues without having a clue what their names are or where they are located in the school. However, I was pretty sure this teacher was not a staffroom regular, as the name wasn't ringing any bells. There's an online list of photos with names that I could have looked up, but it still wouldn't tell me where anyone was in the school. So I decided to zip over to the my neighbour's room, explain my dilemma, and ask for directions.

My neighbour was thrilled to help. Rather than giving directions, she decided to escort me personally and introduce me to this must-know staff member in the office (okay, secretary or counsellor then, not a teacher, which would explain why she was probably busy during lunch). And introduce me she did, with much ado, nosiren-wanted-to-meet-you's, wasn't-sure-who-you-were's, etc, to . . . the vice principal, who greeted me by name every day, and who had interviewed and hired me.

Like I said: Trapdoor? Please???

Youuuuuuuuu

This week didn't get off to a good start. Sunday night I had total insomnia, managed maybe 1 1/2 hours of sleep, and I've been jet-lagged ever since.

Nevertheless, there have been a couple of work highlights, not least of which was one of my very gr. 9's-- polite, easygoing, somewhat quiet-- leading the class in the "soldier boy" dance, and totally rocking out . . . in full hijab.

I love living here.

insomnia

The work day winds down, the clouds have finally opened up to blue sky, and with my whopping one and a half hours of sleep last night, I'm wondering if I can stay awake long enough to make the 35 minute drive home. And my grade 8s . . . my grade 8s . . . are being grade 8s.