never satisfied

i wanted him to move here. he wanted me to move there. he had school, i had a job. i agreed to move and get a job there til he finished school.

but i couldn't get a job until we agreed to make a commitment. and we couldn't make the commitment til he was finished school. so we agreed on the commitment, and that i would move there.

but there were strings attached to the commitment 'agreement' so we agreed to get fully committed (haha) in order for me to move there. after which we would try to find him a job here. okay. i could do this.

so much red tape, so many fees (do you know lawyers charge more in an hour than i make in a day? "but they're professionals" people say. so am i. but not as well-paid). anyway, with all the red tape, and all the expense stress, he suggested that maybe, post-commitment, he should just move here, skip the part where i move there. which is great. which is smart. which will make things really a lot easier in the long run.

just when i'd gotten used to the idea of another adventure.

my happy list

artsmonkey, you inspired me (don't you always . . . !)

-the smell of blossoms at dusk
-sunny days
-seagulls in the morning
-a good night's sleep in a big flat bed
-my fiance being all calm and understanding on the phone when i'm flipping out about imaginary crises
-talking to my sister, who always gets it when no one else does
-good standup
-watching the sailboats
-that post-exercise feeling
-feeling fit
-that rotten kid who turns around and says thank-you at the end of the day
-that chronic failing underachiever who passes a test and flaunts it
-the smell of fresh baked cookies
-red wine with my roommate
-travel to tropical countries
-trying new food in the place it was created
-the fish tacones on the way to granville island
-granville island
-english bay
-late afternoon in summer at the spot on the stanley park seawall, just past the lion's gate bridge, when you turn the corner and the whole bay is sparkling and golden a few hours before sunset
-buying fresh local food
-enjoying a beer/glass of wine in the airport during a stopover that was actually scheduled, while journalling pretending to be an important and brilliant writer
-family hugs
-driving the coquihalla in the summer
-a neighbourhood cat that lets me pet it
-a good book
-dancing to cheesy music